Everything we have learned about modern music so far this year
michael baggs
14:20 31st July 2013

 

Everything you read below is 100% fact. These are things we have learned and things we now know after living through the first half of the year so far. We present 100 true facts about the music scene and its many happenings in 2013...

 

1. Jay-Z's main contribution to Magna Carta Holy Grail is going 'uh uh uh uh uh'

2. A lot of Daft Punk's Random Access Memories album is frightfully dull

3. We have never seen Matt Healy of The 1975 sober/awake

4. One Direction fans are still a whole lot of crazy

5. That guitar band revolution never really happened (but we did get a lot of good albums from those trying)

6. Lil Kim's face is a source of endless fascination

7. Everything about Solange Knowles is so bloody cool

8. Jake Bugg has a lot to say about One Direction

9. Justin Timberlake doesn't believe that less is more when it comes to song lengths

10. Beady Eye are still not very good

11. Even average Sigur Ros albums like Kveikur are better than almost everything else on the planet

12. Mogwai's soundtrack to The Returned is the best TV music since Angelo Badalamenti scored Twin Peaks

13. Everyone still takes deckchairs and picnic hampers to Latitude, even when Bloc Party and Foals are playing

14. The Beyonce album probably isn't going to be released this side of Christmas (..2062)

15. The Weeknd releases or appears on a track about once every four minutes

16. Muse's ambitions for their stadium show know no bounds

17. Frightened Rabbit still deserve to be MASSIVE

18. CHVRCHES are the best thing to come out of Scotland since shortbread (or, indeed, Frightened Rabbit)

19. Josh Homme is still the coolest ginger man in the history of rock

20. David Bowie is still the greatest living icon on the planet

21. Prince should probably lose that perm

22. The Strokes just aren't exciting any more

23. 'After You' by Pulp made us frothing for more - but it isn't going to happen

24. Damon Albarn and Blur are the biggest teases in music

25. Foals have grown up and are going to be the next big (BIG) British band

26. Green Day fans will never stop wearing black shirts and red ties

27. We're were bored of hearing about Lady Gaga's ARTPOP months before it was even released

28. Disclosure are amazing

29. Ditto Rudimental

30. Rihanna didn't have any singles on her Unapologetic album to follow 'Diamonds' with

31. The Voice is still dreadful in every sense of the word

32. Nothing is bigger, or will ever be bigger, than Glastonbury

33. Katy Perry driving a massive gold lorry around LA to announce her new album is relatively subtle (by her standards)

34. Mutya Keisha Siobhan are the most exciting girlgroup since, oh, when they were the Sugababes

35. The Girls Aloud split didn't leave a massive yawning hole in our lives

36. Dot Major of London Grammar has enormous and beautiful hair

37. We have interviewed Juveniles too many times

38. Mariah Carey's '#beautiful' single is amazing (and we won't hear a word against it)

39. Ancient songs (like 'I Love It' by Icona Pop and 'Safe + Sound' by Capital Cities) achieved the success they deserved

40. We want to get massively drunk with Jessie Ware

41. Chris Brown remains a bellend of epic proportions

42. Mikky Ekko's hair makes us all kinds of envious

43. Nobody wanted a solo album from Johnny Borrell (Well, apart from those 594 people)

44. The Rolling Stones put men 50 years younger to shame

45. Arctic Monkeys are well on their way to becoming one of the biggest bands of all time

46. The Peace album is amazing

47. Lulu James hasn't had as much attention as she deserves

48. White Lies don't sound any different in 2013 than how they did in 2009 (and that is no bad thing)

49. Jahmene Douglas' 'domestic abuse'-themed 'Titanium' video wasn't in the best of taste

50. Willy Moon is a very serious chap indeed

51. The Palma Violets album was a massive disappointment

52. The new Babyshambles music is rather good

53. Frank Ocean is not the most exciting live performer in the world

54. Radio One do not appreciate the comedy genius of Tim Westwood

55. Haim certainly know their way around a pop tune

56. Azealia Banks should not be allowed to run her own Twitter account

57. Nile Rodgers rivals Mick Jagger as music's coolest man of pension age

58. It is quite sad that Hop Farm was cancelled

59. If the second Of Monsters & Men album is good, they will be headling festivals in the not-too-distant future

60. Mumford & Sons proved a lot of people wrong at Glastonbury, when they demonstrated with ease that they were worthy of headlining alongside Arctic Monkeys and Rolling Stones

61. Vampire Weekend's Modern Vampires Of The City is their best album to date

62. AlunaGeorge are playing at EVERY festival

63. X Factor is still a thing which is happening

64. You really should hear the Washed Out album, it's spectacular

65. Chet Faker doesn't have a record deal

66. Crystal Fighters are (potentially) the most exciting festival band on the planet

67. No one cared about the second Empire Of The Sun album

68. Phosphorescent made us cry a bit with his 'Song For Zula' single

69. Say Lou Lou are flawless, god-like creatures (and we are suspicious of this)

70. Swiss Lips, sadly, didn't really happen

71. Biffy Clyro make being sweaty and hairy cool

72. Arcade Fire are really dragging things out with this new album

73. James Murphy is still doing loads of cool stuff. Sadly, none of it is LCD Soundsystem

74. Yeah Yeah Yeahs only playing one festival gig this year is a massive loss for Britain

75. Atoms For Peace have become so much more than a Radiohead side-project

76. Limp Bizkit still have loads of fans

77. Flume is the most exciting 21-year-old on the planet

78. Dragonette still can't catch a break

79. Lana Del Rey has leaked all over the internet, with new tracks popping up online almost every week

80. Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' has the most dubious message for a No.1 single in years

81. Everybody went to festivals in Croatia

82. Pharrell makes every man on the planet feel a little bit inadequate by being so damn cool

83. Justin Bieber is a massive douche

84. Boards Of Canada's Tomorrow's Harvest was worth the eight-year wait

85. The UK public could not bring themselves to stop buying Emeli Sande albums

86. Olly Murs released his first half-decent single, 'Dear Darlin'

87. Queens Of The Stone Age proved there is still place for rock in the mainstream with ...Like Clockwork

88. The second Ke$ha album was a bit of a flop

89. Bastille proved that it was possible to go from being bloggers' favourites to nationwide success

90. Tom Odell is not popular in the NME offices. Likewise, the NME is not popular in Tom Odell's house

91. Manic Street Preachers returned, and are still brilliant

92. Adam Lambert still has the most devoted fans on the internet

93. Kings Of Leon really don't like having their photo taken

94. Kanye West's Yeezus album was an absolute racket

95. Dappy didn't go to jail

96. Alt-J aren't the most exciting band on the planet, but damn, they're good at festivals

97. A Sky Ferreira album is looking less and less likely with every passing month

98. Jagwar Ma recorded the Madchester album Stone Roses could never hope to

99. Stone Roses fans like to drink. A lot

100. will.i.am is yet to release any decent solo music