Discussing drugs, dogs and death...
Heather Steele

11:33 6th July 2011

As Noel Gallagher makes a return to music this summer as Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Gigwise takes a look at some of the famously outspoken guitarist’s most infamous quotes.

Whether it be his latest celebrity feud or his outlandish options, we can always rely on Noel to deliver some witty comments amongst his sage advice.

Here we've rounded up some of our favourite outbursts from his career to date. Can you think of any other memorable Noel quotes? Post your favourites in the comment form below and remember to keep checking the site as more details about Noel’s return emerge throughout the day.

  • "If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a sh*tload," Noel informed Parkinson in 2006.

  • On Jay-Z’s infamous Glastonbury performance: “What did I think of Jay-Z doing 'Wonderwall'? It was pretty funny. But I’m not sure one should be seen in public with a white Stratocaster.” Blender, August 2008.

  • “It seems like you've got these gigs where it'll be the front three rows of people in this big massive hole but there's geezers running around, punching each other, singing like 'Live Forever' and totally missing the point.” Discussing misguided fans in Indepth, March 1995.

  • On his brother Liam: “He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.” Q, April 2009.

  • On Liam imitating John Lennon: “He was talking in a Scouse accent for three days. He told me I should refer to him as John and I was like, 'I just prefer 'c*nt', man.” The Guardian, June 2005.

  • "Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts.” Another day, another dig at celebrities in an interview with NME, December 2005.

  • The twitter aftermath of Gary Neville quoting Oasis lyrics: "I feel violated. If Mr Neville continues to use the holy scriptures of Oasis to communicate with the Cockney massive, I shall be forced to come up to Cheshire in the middle of the night, break into his house, tie him to a chair, make him listen to the Best Of Simply d(Red)ful while I pull his tash out one grey hair at a time (with my teeth), liberate those Oasis CDs and s*it in his manbag. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED”

  • On his extravagant behaviour: “I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of £110,000, and I haven’t got a driving license. It’s useless to me.” Blender, August 2008.

  • On his love of canines: "I love dogs, dogs are brilliant. Is there anything funnier than a dog, going down the high street with his face hangin' out the window?” Chris Moyles, Radio 1, 2008.

  • On 'Wonderwall’s everlasting popularity: “The Who always play 'I Can't Explain'; and we'll always play 'Wonderwall'. People ask us if we get bored of it. You can't get bored of 15,000 people shouting for 'Wonderwall'. That's better than drugs. You get a hard-on when you hear that.” Q, December 1999.

  • "I write the first line and the end word, 'Supersonic', it's like, 'Well, what rhymes with that?' And you start off with 'A' and you go, 'Atomic. Bionic.' Then you go...'Gin & Tonic. Alright, that'll do.' It's no big deal. You just write it down, and people go 'Wow! Feeling Supersonic...Give me Gin and Tonic. Wow!' Basically, cos it rhymes." Indepth, March 1995.

  • “I'm average at f*cking best” – Noel talking about his guitar playing abilities in Total Guitar, January 2009.

  • Another day, another outburst on tour: “Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand signal for 'Get the f*ck out of my cab, you western dog!'” MySpace, March 2009.

  • Keane feel Noel’s wrath: “I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into onto his cock people would go ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night’.” Herald Sun, October 2008.

  • On rehab: “Didn't go into rehab like all me mates did – f*cking lightweights.” Q, December 1999.

  • On band involvement in Oasis: “I never sat down and decreed that suddenly everyone else was allowed to write songs. The door was always open. But for the first 10 years, everyone else was completely uninterested.” The Guardian, June 2005.

  • Discussing drugs with Parkinson in 2006: "If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a sh*tload."

  • “I'm not really bothered 'cause I won't be there. I don't give a sh*t,” Noel discusses his funeral in Melody Maker, December 1998.

  • On playing guitar: “It's a human playing a tree. Three chords on a guitar – now write a song. I only know 11! But I tell you what, God help you when I find the 12th!” NME, September 2001.

  • “If you see an NME journalist at any of the gigs (and let's face it, they're pretty easy to spot; they don't stray far from hospitality, wear God-awful clothes - particularly the shoes - got dreadful hair and that kind of ‘mug me’ look about them), give 'em a clip round the earhole from me and tell 'em to behave.” Myspace 2009.


Photo: WENN.com