It has been revealed that Sophie Ellis-Bextor, pop-star possessor of a face like a satellite dish, got hitched last month in a secret wedding in Italy. The lucky fella is guitarist Richard Jones. 

A source told BreakingNews.ie: “They couldn’t be happier. The ceremony was very simple and understated and it was a beautiful day.”

“They managed to keep the whole thing quiet as they didn’t want to cause a fuss.”

Or perhaps it was just because nobody gave a crap.