Flirting is the act of showing some sort of concealed interest in a potential romantic partner. Since men are normally expected to take charge and offer themselves up for the woman to consider, these situations are normally initiated by men, though the opposite scenario is plenty common as well. Men and women typically have different objectives when flirting, and it doesn’t necessarily mean taking it further. The proper way to flirt, therefore, depends on why you decided to flirt with the particular person.

In any case, many people find small talk pleasant. Vibing off of people you don’t know for most people is a pretty fun thing to do, including wisecracking, inquiring about something interesting you’ve noticed about them, or making new acquaintances. This is often kicked up to the next level when you can ping off of some masculine or feminine energy, depending who you are. If that’s a hot girl, you’d do well to know what you’re doing.

Reasons We Flirt

The vast majority of people have a psychological need to socialize for evolutionary reasons. Humans are highly social animals and thus, our hard-wired brains reward us for building social networks and connections.

Physical or Emotional Desire

Firstly, both men and women are often highly drawn to someone of the opposite sex due to attraction to their body. The physical element is the most common objective for males flirting with women. It’s what most often gets a man to notice a woman and therefore choose to start the interaction. This is apparent in the popularity of Clothoff, which undresses girls in photos using AI.

It is an increasing trend for women to be more open and shoot their shot as well, though most women are quite as immediately intent on flings compared to men. For women who start this kind of flirting in bars or in everyday places like in class, work, or at a supermarket, it’s often based on the broadest range of features that the man has, in addition to looks.

This often is:

• Status
• Visual presentation
• Ego and confidence
• Masculine voice
• Him drawing everyone’s attention
• Clout

Attention and Validation

Though everyone validates attention, this is the commodity that women desire most. This is the most common objective for women flirting with men. It is quite easy for women to take a man home, and though that too is a common occurrence, almost everyone enjoys attention. But it motivates women’s actions most of all. This explains why there are so many Instagram accounts full of filters where women accumulate likes, though this isn’t a behavior that all women exhibit.

Women, and men who are already married or in a relationship, often flirt without much of an end game in mind, other than being friendly and having a fun exchange.

Male vs Female Communication

When you’re interacting with someone of the opposite sex, everyone is aware that you benefit greatly from having a high classical social market value.

This includes:

• Looks
• Height
• Success
• Status and popularity
• Charisma

However, the vibe, or the rizz, that you bring is extremely important.

Hints vs Direct Flirting

As a man, you should know that women are used to indirect communication, and the things that you do are almost always perceived as a signal. And the woman communicates with you in that particular way. Since women are afraid to be seen as promiscuous when flirting, they issue invitations to talk to them in very subtle ways, such as giving a brief glance with plausible deniability, standing near the man, or coming up with an excuse to talk to him.

This is very often lost on men, who prefer direct communication. These hints all too often go right over men’s heads. In both cases, when a man or woman wants to initiate flirting, they should not be overly shy about it. As a man, if you choose to send a signal to a woman, she may indeed get the hint; however, the vast majority of women will prefer you to take the risk  and get more to the point, since they see that as men’s job. Therefore, face-saving styles of communication do not work well in getting a date, whoever you are.

As a Woman: Be Less Ambiguous

If you wish to get a date with a man, you should make sure and look good and also present yourself with whatever type of vibe it is of the man you attract prefers. Since men will not pick up on subtle signs If you’d like to sleep with a man, just ask him, as men’s attraction usually works like a light switch. If you want a boyfriend or a relationship though, you should emphasize qualities that you have that you believe he’d like:

• Fun
• Peaceful
• Supportive
• Loyal
• Ambitious

As a Man: Non-Verbal Communication

As previously mentioned, you are usually the one starting the interaction as a man. By this time, it works best if you have a good vibe, whatever for form that takes. This is because, the vast majority of communication is non-verbal and the woman picks up on your own state and it transfers to her.

That applies whether you are:

• Nervous
• Having a good time
• Intrigued about what interests you
• At ease

Vibes are contagious, and they pass on to the people you socialize with, especially when it comes to women, who are always seeking out signs and thus are very acute to that.

Push and Pull: the Blueprint for Flirting with Females

Here, we are assuming that you’re not just sending concealed messages with someone of the opposite sex for the mere objective of having a fun, pleasant passing exchange.

Beyond personal qualities that you have which hook the woman in the first place, perhaps the most central commodity in flirting is simple – the expression of interest and disinterest. The truth is that women use your comfortability talking to them and the level of interest you express as a shorthand to estimate your dating market value, as established by the other females you generally interact with.

Mixed Signals

For women’s excitement, it is crucial that she at least has some sort of a chance with a man, yet at the same time, he should not express himself as too easy. Thus, in order to give a woman a reason to be interested, the ideal is for the man to alternate between signaling interest and disinterest at the same time.

The Push

It is perfectly natural that a man will not be impressed by everything about a woman, if he is being sincere. Therefore, the man simply needs to be honest and playfully express disinterest sometimes. Always do so for fun and in a positive vibe, without being overly serious, and certainly do not do it out of spite.

Such ways of expressing disinterest:

• Playful teasing about a funny habit of hers
• Calling her a troublemaker
• Saying that you usually don’t make yourself available in such situations
• Cocky and funny comments that suggest how you view your relative social status

The Pull

You also want the girl to feel like she’s valued, and ideally in ways that don’t revolve mainly around her looks. Definitely be sure and reward her if she does something nice for you, so that she feels good and is encouraged. By showing disinterest sometimes, you are actually adding credibility to the interest you express – that you wouldn’t just give yourself away too easily to any girl.

Also, putting up a challenge signals status among women on the dating market. Otherwise, most girls tend to become bored and irritated.

Flirting in Practice

Remember: this is all in the spirit of playfulness, and your delivery is everything. One of the crucial aspects to keep in mind is never to come off as negative or insult the girl. If she seems to have low self-esteem, dial it back. This is always in the spirit of fun and not to pump up your own ego at her expense. Being fun without being too easy or out of her reach is the key to exciting her through flirting.

Here are some examples of phrases that would capture the push-full style of flirting.

Compliments:

• You carry yourself well
• You’re good at reading people
• You’re interesting to talk to
• You have a calming presence
• You’ve got a good energy

Playful teasing:

• You’re cute when you get defensive
• Relax, you don’t have to impress me
• I usually don’t go for girls like you
• You’re kind of a troublemaker, aren’t you?
• Your hair is nice. Is it real?