The Crimea - ‘Baby Boom’ (Warners) Released 21/08/06

Frankly, the bored rabbits on the cover were a dead giveaway.  Kicking in with swirling, mournful guitars, ‘Baby Boom’ grasps hopelessly at the haunting and affecting, but falls apologetically in the land of all that’s limp-wristed, pathetic, and pretty damn irritating.  Despite protestations of haplessly following our proud nation’s favourite  past-time (i.e getting pissed and shagging), you get the impression The Crimea would be passing out on a Bacardi breezer and bluntly, never getting laid.  Vocals sound bored and desperate, rather Billy Corgan-esuqe: at best, whiney, at worst an enormously flaccid turn off.  If the rabbit analogy is to continue, it’s like Watership Down stripped of genuine emotion, not even meriting a tear, let alone a terrifying burrow-brawl, relieving poor bunnies of fur and eyes and what not.  Lines like “we’re just a bunch of buffalo getting slaughtered” should illustrate the point fairly well.  If a Baby Boom is indeed in order, perhaps try Barry White.  Or something.