Serena Maneesh - 'Drain Cosmetics' (Playlouder) Released 12/06/06

Hah! Ethereal Norwegian prog-gypsy rock! Why did we never think of that before? Oslo’s Serena Maneesh, looking like a bunch of extras from Pirates of the Carribbean (apart from ice-cold, absolutely stunning bassist) plug the kind of droney, folksy racket that My Bloody Valentine would have made if they’d been around to collaborate with Fairport Convention. And while gigwise has no problem with a bit of retro shoegazing, if you haven’t got something new to say, why say it at all, especially when Secret Machines can do it so much better? There’s ghostly choirs! Disinterested Nico-like backing vocals! Dreadful sub-Jim Morrison poetry! Distinct lack of choruses! In short, everything that makes alternative Scandinavian music so loveable, but also so very slightly absurd. 'Drain Cosmetics' (we’re sure this is some terribly subversive comment about materialism and such, but to us it just sounds like Jade Goody’s next business venture) is one of those soundscape records that should never, ever have been released as a single, let alone with 4 ****ING VERSIONS OF THE SAME SONG on the disc. Intro to an album of polished, reverb-heavy pop songs? Yes. Chart-straddling rock monster? Absolutely not.