Fish, Features and Furnaces!

It’s a testament to the power of mediocrity that so many naff indie bands are still out there releasing records. Simple Kid, formerly Ciaran McFeely of one-near-miss-wonders The Young Offenders, has married his wobbly helium vocals to post-Gomez shuffling beats and tinny, whirly guitars – the overall effect being that his ‘Truck On’ single sounds a little like a slightly-more-interesting Athlete. The b-side, a cover of Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billie’s ‘I See A Darkness’ is a far superior acoustic lament, but since Simple Kid obviously didn’t write it, we may have some way to explain the difference in quality.

Next up are Spank Records’ favourites 28 Costumes, and just like their last release ‘Hurricane’, ’21 Years’ is a superbly dignified slab of moody indie rock. Just as the atmospheric thrum of the verses threatens to collapse in on itself, the whole shebang explodes into an almighty riff, axeman Tony Reilly teasing us with the sort of explosive riffs not heard since the heyday of Six By Seven. Once again, however, the real treat is tucked away on track three, via a heartbreaking rendition of live favourite ‘I’m Not Going To Get Along With Him’. Expect big things.

It’s disappointing, then, to hear fellow Scousers The Stands are receiving far more attention for creating a sort of low-rent Byrds jangle. Picking the exact fault with Howie Payne’s sixties-obsessed quartet is harder than it seems, though. In 1965, ‘Here She Comes Again’ would’ve been an undisputed classic, seeing as how it’s all laid-back, sun-drenched sub-Californidelia, but as far as any modern context goes, it just sounds slightly too inoffensive and bland. And more importantly, why would anyone want to buy that sort of thing in this day and age? Someone show them what a sampler is, please, and fast.

Moving into slightly more weird territory, The Fiery Furnaces attempt to remind us that there was another band on tour with Hot Hot Heat and Franz Ferdinand at the tail-end of last year. Favourites of Zane Lowe, they whack out the madcap bouncy indie of ‘Tropical Iceland’ in such a way that might remind older readers of Linoleum, but unfortunately they really don’t have a rat’s cock of a chance of scoring a hit with this stuff, regardless of how boss it is.

The same could be said of dull-as-**** outfit Ilya, albeit in a less good sort of way. If you took all the interesting bits out of Portishead (like the scratchy samples, and…um, the tunes), you’d be left with a pretentiously downbeat live trip-hop collective. You’d also probably come out with horrible crap-film-soundtrack shit like ‘Bellissimo’. The real shame about this is that when the whole thing explodes into life with a sumptuous string section, there’s a sneaking suspicion that they could well do something great. Unfortunately, this is less fun than having your tongue forcibly inserted into your own anus whilst a troupe of wandering flesh-eating ants set up camp in your genitalia. Not great then.

Much better are Tennessee beard-rockers The Features, who stir up a raucous garage racket in ‘The Way It’s Meant To Be’. Clocking in at only just over two minutes, it then crashes into an even-better B-side entitled ‘Someway Somehow’. It sounds like a louder Kings Of Leon covering The Wannadies, or perhaps even Grandaddy if they should ever choose to rock out. Naturally this is somewhat ace, and certainly not a possibly-average New Rock Revolution act who only sound good because the last single in the pile was so rubbish. No, no, come back! It really is good! No idea what it’s doing on the Fierce Panda label, though.

A cartoonish Less Than Jake-esque sleeve makes us kinda worried about Jerry Fish & The Mudbug Club, as does their ‘wacky’ choice of band name. This is not even vaguely close to the mark, however. ‘Upside Down’ begins life as a sub-Dylan piece of folky dad-pop before it reaches a brass-driven chorus reminiscent of Latino-influenced country superstars The Mavericks. Frankly, we’re not sure if we’d have preferred our initial fears. Either way, we knew we wouldn’t like it.

Obviously, this is really unfair because the next single we have to review comes direct from mediocrity city central, courtesy of the Stereophonics. ‘Moviestar’ is a departure from their usual drivel, which basically means that it’s boring in a slightly different way to normal. This time, they’ve stuck a Primal Scream (‘Xtrmntr’-period)-style loop under a practically chorus-free drone. Nice to see that they may have a future beyond horrific pub-rock, but remember, this is a band who sacked their only interesting member. What next for Stuart Cable? Gigwise predicts a career in bollock-cancer-warning adverts, whilst the rest of them continue to knock this stuff out long after their shelf life has expired. Sigh. At least one of these possibilities is entertaining.

Luckily, we’ve been saving the real treat in this week’s pile ‘til the very last: Seattle indie rockers Death Cab For Cutie’s new single ‘New Year’ is unsurprisingly great, in a beautifully clattering sort of way. Ben Gibbard’s heart-melting vocal coos over the mêlée, and an unfairly-small number of indie kids welcome him back into their lives with open arms. There’s another dimension somewhere where Beat Happening are about to commence their reunion tour, Urusei Yatsura’s seventh album has just hit the number one spot and Sebadoh’s ‘Gimme Indie Rock’ is the national anthem. Only there can Death Cab be truly appreciated on a mass scale, but back in reality, we’ll gratefully accept them as they are. ****ing fantastic.