Saturday 23/07/05 The Wickerman Festival, Dumfriesshire

Now in its fourth year, Dumfriesshire’s Wickerman festival promises ‘Fun, Fire and Freedom’. It is all of these things, and so much more. From the second Antiproduct take to the main stage on Friday the party really gets started. At once heavy, melodic and basically just downright, unadulterated fun, songs like ‘Hey, Let’s Get it On’ (the catchiest rock song of all time?) and ‘Bungee-Jumping People Die’ are bona fide rock classics guaranteed to get any party rocking, and rock they certainly do.

Illegitimate lovechild of Freddie Mercury, Justin Hawkins and Kiss, frontman Alex Product is the cartoon-rock icon, and mad as a sack of badgers on crack. Clad in sparkly silver waistcoat, velvet trousers and some pretty outstanding makeup this guy is almost unreal. Alex has evidently neglected to take his ritalin for several weeks - striking all the requisite poses and prancing round, this pint-sized showman will simply not be satisfied until every single last member of the crowd is grinning like a fool. Entertaining? Well, lets just say that when they play their “acoustic” set the following day, the place is full to bursting, the ground outside littered with Antiproduct converts unable to fit into the crammed marquee. 

Friday’s headliners, and arguably the main attraction at this year’s festival, The Stranglers by all accounts play a blinding set, prudently sticking to their punchier numbers and leaving out much of the drivel which a band of their longevity inevitably accumulates. For all but the last half hour of the Stranglers’ set though, Gigwise was glued to the acoustic tent where Yorkshire-born singer-songwriter Elaine Palmer was wowing the (considerably smaller) crowd in her own quiet and understated way. Aware that she has possibly the worst slot of the weekend, up against the Stranglers, Elaine never-the-less delivers a spellbinding performance, demonstrating a unique song-writing talent and a voice that’ll make you weak at the knees.
 
Legging it down to the main stage, we're just in time to catch a performance of ‘No More Heroes’ which frankly just ****ing rocked, in a very very good way. Half an hour or so after JJ and co vacate the main stage, punk veterans The Vibrators take to the stage in the Scooter tent to show us how punk really should be done (i.e., without any of this ‘new wave’ silliness). Now in the 29th year of their career, the Vibrators still epitomise all that is rasping, gritty and downright dirty in punk rock – songs like ‘Disco In Moscow’ and ‘Baby Baby’ are still superb and get the packed out Scooter Tent pogo-ing away into the small hours.

Clearly in their natural environment here at the Wickerman, Mostly Autumn are utterly glorious, (as usual), their beautifully atmospheric Celtic rock absolutely at home in the magnificent Dumfriesshire countryside. Bryan, Heather et al. put up an outstanding performance, including such haunting numbers ‘Never the Rainbow’, ‘The Darkness Before The Dawn’ and a sprinkling of well chosen tracks from their 2003 album 'Passengers' including the captivating 'Caught in a Fold' and 'Simple Ways', before drawing their painfully short set to a close with the almost anthemic 'Heroes Never Die'.

Diezel, a powerful band whose muscular riffs and Killswitch Engage style of heavy rock, intricate guitar work and evidently considerable song-writing talents led to them finishing their set having packed out the tent. Not bad considering they had an audience of “fewer than ten” when they started. Other scooter favourites included Zachariah Mushroom, The Hateful,  Gangsters of Ska (the latter putting on an utterly brilliant set which may even go some way to readjusting this reviewer’s lifelong and vehement dislike for all things Ska).

Sound Development Agency do pretty much what it says on the tin, their progressive sound, mixing rock, indie and dance influences, sampling, looping and other technological experimentation resulting in some serious, pigeonhole-defying funkiness. And what can you say about the omnipresent Tam Trainer? When he wasn’t playing the acoustic tent, he and his band kept the beer tent head-banging with some excellent, Tennants-fuelled rock covers, and when he wasn’t doing that – well one could only assume he’d be taking a break from rocking in the free world and gone to get pished. Other acts, Mr Greenfinger leaps to mind, are frankly just weird, although highly entertaining in an….actually no, Mr G. is actually just weird. ‘Nuff said.

On the subject of ‘weird’, although virtually anonymous outside of Dumfriesshire, special mention must be made of local band The Dangleberries. Let’s put it this way: when you’ve seen 16 pissed-up, kilt-wearing Scots crammed onto a (frankly quite small) stage, playing a cover of Sabbath’s ‘Paranoid’ arranged for the bagpipes, you’ve seen it all. A regular feature on the Wickerman they have something of a reputation for putting on a seriously fun show, and as such a crowd that rocks (and indeed rolls) to their blend of traditional Gaelic reels and bizarre rock covers, almost surpasses that of the festival’s headliners.

Congratulations also to the rather strange, elderly, kilt-wearing gentleman with dyed purple moustache and eyebrows who was to be found rocking out in the most incongruous places, usually the Scooter tent. Hats off to you sir, whoever you are, for you are an example to us all.

As the sun goes down over the last night of the festival and the fiery climax draws near, Saturday’s headliners, the much anticipated Alabama 3 put on an excellent, excellent set. A healthy mix of techno, raw sleazy blues, country and a smattering of gospel, Alabama 3 get the crowd bouncing up and down like crazy people to such awesome songs as ‘Woke Up This Morning’ and post ecstasy-generation anthem ‘She Don’t Dance To Techno Anymore’. Alabama 3 prove that they’re much more than just “those guys who did the theme tune to the Sopranos”.

The weekend draws to a triumphant climax with the "God of Hellfire" himself, Arthur Brown, standing before ten thousand people on the hill in anticipation of the of two day’s fiery culmination -  the burning of the Wicker Man. There's something overtly spiritual, unashamedly pagan, and something, in all honestly, just beautiful in watching the procession of hooded torch-bearers as it snakes towards the enormous wicker figure which has been watching over the festival for the last two days.

As the flames leap higher around this marvellous sculpture and the fireworks explode overhead, the deafening roar of appreciation from those watching on the hill speaks volumes. Fire to burn, they say, fire to cleanse. Make of that what you will. It seems only fair that the final word on such an amazing festival should go to Alex from Antiproduct, who, during his band’s second performance of the weekend, aptly summarises what many here are thinking;  “Um…I know it’s a bit of a clichéd and…ah…mundane thing to say” he muses, evidently reluctant to use any ill-advised superlatives, “but this is pretty much without a doubt the best festival I’ve ever been to. Ever.”