Thursday 20/11/08 XX Teens @ Astoria, London

Rock, roll, dirty, dark, unadulterated sex. Shame I’m talking about the Astoria’s headliners The Kills, and not the support.

London five-piece XX Teens sound like they should be an explicit riot of rock and hormones. On record they promise Frank Black lyrics, The Horrors riffs and Ikara Colt ferocity. In reality they are Towers of London on a very bad day. They promised so much and I wanted it. Maybe that’s where the problem lies. This damn tag called hype.

First song is a minute of ‘noises’, sounding halfway between a cat’s miaow and an angry growl. Not the best start. There is a damning sense of desperation. The robotic fancy dress females have been danced to death. The tricks are tired and uninspired. We've seen it a million times before.

You get an immediate sense that they obsessed over The Fall as sprogs – spoken vocals are abundant – and at times XX Teens hint at something altogether better. ‘How To Reduce The Chances Of Being A Terror Victim’ and 'Darlin'' are dazzling and irritating all at the same time. 

The Londoners pull off a cockney in a bowtie charm nonchalence when they don’t try to, but as soon as they enter back into consciousness, the pretension re-emerges. ‘The Way We Were’ from debut LP ‘Welcome to Goon Island’ is attention grabbing, and then something as generic as ‘My Favourite Hat’ comes along, and poof, attention gone. Too much Test Icicles and not enough Television.