Sunday 24/06/07 Day Three @ Glastonbury Festival, Worthy Farm, Somerset

We’re knee deep in thick mud. Fatboy Slim is dressed in a skin-tight wasp catsuit with a warped bunny girl stripping in front of him. We look up and a chapel looms over us and throngs of revellers, dwarfs and masked creatures push through the crowds surrounding us. People are dressed as animals. Animals are dressed as people. Emerging breathless from the mud we come face to waist with a real live giant! But it’s not a smoke induced Mighty Boosh style dream; it’s the early hours of Saturday morning in Glastonbury’s legendary Lost Vagueness site.

Perhaps this is what heaven is like without the mud and the expensive burgers. Surely cheese doesn’t cost £1.50 extra up there with the big man? So with Sunday coming at us in such a bizarre manner, the day’s festival-going was not going to be easy. With blisters the size of golf balls, damp cagoules and newly sculpted calf muscles to rival Linford Christie’s, the mere thought of another day of limping around in the unpredictable weather is gut wrenching.

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly takes to The Other Stage and as we devour yet another meal resembling shit in a tray, Sam Duckworth has his work cut out. People are cranky and are practically swimming in the brown stuff, leaning on anything remotely dry waiting to be entertained. Could a little guy with a guitar preaching about politics be a good idea? As the blazing sun emerges, the audience multiplies and people are clearly converted by the time Duckworth reaches his third track from his debut ‘Chronicles of a Bohemian Teenager’, he’s proved that he’s got more in common with veteran singer songwriter Billy Bragg than just a Glastonbury 2007 slot.

It’s almost time for Shirley Bassey’s highly anticipated slot, so we trundle over to The Pyramid Stage. By this time the mud is so bad; our wellies are staying firmly put as we sink deeper and deeper into the sludge. It’s starting to resemble that scene on that Never Ending Story film when Artex the horse meets death by drowning in a boggy river. Constantly moving our heels up and down seems to keep us afloat as we give up the fight towards the front and settle for a spot mid way between the Worthy Farmhouse and the stage. People may have been shouting for the sound to be turned up when The Killers played the previous night, but the grand Dame glass-shattering tones must be heard miles away as she enters the platform with a cover of Pink’s ‘Get The Party Started’ – last heard on the M&S advert.

The Dame launches into ‘Diamonds Are Forever’, which is followed by a nod to a certain Sheffield based band that covered the classic song when closing Friday night. “I have to say that’s how it’s done, Arctic Monkeys” she says in that throaty trademark voice with a giggle. She’s a show woman - there’s no doubt about it. Flashing a toned leg in a cut to the thigh evening gown, we are left pondering over whether the lady is really 70 years old. Dedicating ‘Big Spender’ to everyone who paid their £154 worth, the glamorous old girl belts it out twice in a row due to popular demand but its ‘Goldfinger’ that has everyone going with imaginary feather boas and exaggerated arm gestures as a proud looking Michael Eavis looks on from the side of the stage.

Day One, full review here
Day Two, full review here