Friday 24/09/04 The Brakes, The Pipettes @ Camden Barfly, London

This must be how Adam felt when he took that first bite out of the apple and came to the realisation that there is more to the world than swinging your testes in time with biblical sonic cathedrals. Tonight my friends, we are party to the most fun you can have while not being at an Interpol gig. Usually a support band will get a paragraph review, but The Pipettes deserve more than that. They deserve a review written in oil on canvas, hung in a museum where only beautiful people can access, with a special handshake once they have cleaned their hands.

The Pipettes are an amalgamation of Julia (the one with the good voice), Becki (the blonde one) and Rose (the beautiful one, with the infectious eyebrow arch) with guest appearances from none other than Tom and Alex White from ESP (on percussion). Never has the overused, lazy NME journalist pun "Brighton Rocks" been more appropriate than tonight.

The Polka-Dot Princesses start the festivities with sure-fire hit ‘ABC’, blessing the crowd with harmonies the Shangri-Las would have died for. Not literally as that would be in bad taste. Synchronised hand gestures and hip swaying punctuate each beautifully crafted lyric, hypnotising everyone within spitting distance. “Your Kisses are wasted on me…” sing the girls while wagging their fingers at any potential suitor that catch their winking eyeline. ‘Love You’ and ‘Really That Bad’ pave the way for the true classic. Yes, the song that will convert any doubting Thomas in the venue. The song that will launch a thousand indie clubnights… ‘School Uniform’ is that song. The simplistic, catchy-as-****, genius-tinged, 2-minute epic is the anthem for man’s (and in the case girl’s) eternal obsession with the kinkiness of the aforementioned garment. Trust me, its better than it sounds! It play’s like a cut-scene in Grease 2, where Michelle Pfeiffer cuts loose with pom-poms and a boy of loose morals.

The soulful ‘It hurts 2 C U Dance So Well’ is a momentary respite in the feel-good jangly-pop, reminding us that the mix of indie guitars with a 60’s girl group ethic is just what this jaded reporter needs to restore his faith in music.

Yeah they my be girls dressed in identical dresses a la The Stepford Wives, but feminist call-to-arms like ‘One Night Stand’ and the tongue in cheek ‘Tie me to the Kitchen Sink’ show us that they are not the sort of girls to lie back and think of Brighton.

Ending on their theme song ‘We are The Pipettes’, the girls casually tell us that they will ‘drop you in our net’ and that they are the ‘prettiest girls you’ve ever met…’ and frankly, who are we to argue? Every shimmy-shimmy; every hand-clap; every hands on hips stance while pouting sexily, is another image burned into the minds of the lucky few who look up at the Anti-Girls Aloud with the kind of respect and adoration usually reserved for a band with a well known back catalogue.

Its only a matter of time before the best kept secret in Pop/Rock becomes CD:UK fodder and lose all of their indie credibility, but until that day comes, we will wear our ‘I Love The Pipettes’ badges with pride like symbols of allegiance against the dark forces of The Pepsi Chart.

Its unfortunate the Brakes have to follow The Pipettes onstage, as there is nothing they can do to dull the joy in the hearts of all, with their post-rock pessimism. This band should be a lot better than they sound tonight. They have all the right ingredients, Tom and Alex from ESP on Guitar and Drums respectively and Eamonn from British Sea Power on vocals. If this band sounded even half as good as either group, it would be worth staying. Die-Hard British Sea Power fans make sure they get a good reception, but the crowd only really get into the groove when The Pipettes return for the obligatory duet. It’s plain to see that the whole room want to like The Brakes. This correspondent wants to like The Brakes, but it’s hard when the absence of a chorus and songs shorter than this sentence stand in the way.