Wednesday 28/02/07 The Thermals @ Subterranean, Chicago

Roll out the red carpet for the best band in America.  Employing the most impressive use of Biblical allusions since Nick Cave, presenting…. The Thermals.

Billy Corgan plans his Smashing Pumpkins comeback for the Vegas-approved date of 07/07/07, with the output to be titled: Zeitgeist.  Hate to break the news, Billy, but you’re too late.  The Thermals stuffed this shite of a zeitgeist into a bullet with butterfly net roundabout last autumn.  You?  You’re just playing catch up.  Christ on a crutch, Hutch Harris – ‘I Might Need You To Kill’ unfolds like the cranium-bash soundtrack to the first-person shooter computer game with which Lily Allen’s little brother Alfie wanks his prepubescent pecker raw. “Can’t believe I got so far with a head so empty.”  Amen, Hutch.

They don’t play it tonight, but ‘Test Pattern’ is a rainstorm-drenched ripped jean Buddy Holly gutterpunk narrating the Cuban Missile Crisis, or, perhaps our modern equivalent: the inevitable “liberation” of Iran. Hold on a second, look, there’s Hutch.  Let’s talk politics.

Gigwise:  Hey, Hutch, so I suppose you were all enthused the other day when the Taliban came within inches of erasing Dick Cheney?
HH: Yeah, we read that yesterday.  It would be nice.  It would be very nice.
Cue:  “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by The Beach Boys.

How come the pre-show music at all of these shows blows so reliably?  The lone exception being St. Patrick’s Day of years gone by in sunny lurvlee Dublin, when that vinyl-fiend genius spun Bobby Womack’s ‘Across 110th Street’ followed in turn by some minor monumental output by Richard Ashcroft.
Lengthier set than expected.  They shoot the load off right quick with ‘Here’s Your Future,’ as sound an intro as you’ll ears will ever hear.  All-ages show, so why are none of you ponces moshing?

All those discount martinis are doing my head in.  The Thermals, I thought you were a trio.  So what’s Matthew Friedberger doing up there?  There goes their best-Pacific-Northwest-trio-since-Nirvana tag.  Could’ve sworn that was bassist Kathy Harris smiling by the white van hours earlier.  Would’ve offered our services to help move an amp but alas we had to sell that crap Emily Haines CD in order to fund the martinis.  

The Thermals bury ‘Pillar of Salt’ until way down deep toward the end of the set.  Enough hand-motions in that one to rival ‘YMCA’ by the Village People.  But it works, friends.  It works.