Saturday 25/02/06 Coldcut, Ross Allen @ Shepherds Bush Empire, London

Without defying journalistic conventions we head straight for the bar.  Nothing to see here people, and, oddly enough, there isn’t actually anything.  No support band, just that DJ in the corner and the shit, shock, horror people are dancing.  Dancing! Voluntarily!  The man responsible for such deviancy is Ross Allen, part radio DJ, part A&R consultant and apparently part human.  Tonight he’s the warm up and despite the minor humbling; a combination of damn fine digit dexterity and an unwavering ability to pick a TUNE sees the Empire jump, skulk, slide and swagger into premature life.

So it’s not so much the wheels of steel anymore as we’ve seen it electronically reinvented, but Coldcut manage to spin some technological gold.  Or program it.  Or key it.  Or whatever they do.  They take the abstract, the abnormal, even the ordinary and seamlessly splice it into a display of incredible mixing ingenuity. Nothing and no one are exempt from a Coldcut face-lift.  ‘Beats and Pieces’ is like riding the DeLorean with a handheld, whilst Disney’s Junglebook, C3PO, Gonzo from the Muppets and AC/DC are used to surprising effect.  Even that gormless **** Blair gets a look in with a guitar riff.  If you thought you were down with the massive with your UNKLE and your DJ Shadow, pull those pampers up and get your ass off the training potty.  You’re a big boy now.

For once the ‘special guests’ tag line on the ticket lives up to it’s billing and the appearance of some rather cool cats sees Coldcut step it up.  Roots Manuva swaggers onstage to rapturous applause before sauntering through a tabla inspired ‘True Skool’ that sees people cutting some serious rug, if there was any.  It’s more of a sticky floor shuffle, but that just makes it all the more impressive.  Roots label mates Mike Ladd and Juice Aleem are the raucously cool comperes for the night whilst Jon Spencer, of Blues Explosion fame, leads the final assault on ‘Everything is Under Control’ which is by this point poignantly ironic.  With Spencer howling, Ladd and Aleem bounding around, Roots Manuva practicing what he preaches by looking "cooler than cool" and the majority of the crowd munted on A numbers, Coldcut take their leave.  It’s amazing what listening to a bit of Annie Mac can do for you.  How about some Red Stripe and ‘Redemption Song’? Yeah? I know a ragga joint just down the road…