The Rasmus – 'Hide From The Sun' (Island) Released 12/09/05

One always tries to be fair when reviewing music of any kind but this is ****ing awful. People may remember The Rasmus from last year's MTV-friendly - yet still irredeemably shit - single 'In The Shadows', while others may recall pelting them with urine at the Reading Festival.

The Fins now return with an album of what can only be described as more of the same shit. If the bloke who used to be in Savage Garden (Darren Hayes?) decided to front a bad goth metal group it would sound something like this. We thought Linkin Park had plumbed the depths, but 'Hide From The Sun' takes things a step further. Every song plods along on an identikit synthesiser loop, before singer Lauri Ylonen vomits over the same thrashing guitar riff. It's enough to make your ears bleed.

Predictably, all of the songs have the sort of titles that would make a retarded Marilyn Manson fan wince. 'Shot' sees Ylonen telling his woman (we assume) that he would "take the shot" for her - most will end up wishing he had - while 'No Fear' speaks of - yes, you've guessed it - having no fear of 'The Reaper'. Other song titles include 'Lucifer's Girl' and 'Dead Promises'. No need to say anymore.

Rarely can efforts to generate so much emotion have managed to convey so little sincerity. An ideal present - for someone you hate.