Drunken Horse - 'Adult Situations' (Sweet Nothing) Released 26/05/03

Ever wondered why music journalists make up reviews about things they've never heard? It's because, otherwise, we have to listen to shit like this. In fact, **** Drunk Horse' third album because it's quite possibly the shittest collection of would-be AC/DC anti-tunes you're likely to hear for some time. When there are so many other horses out there far more deserving of your attention (Sparklehorse, Deftones' White Pony and Crazy sodding Horses for a bleeding start!), it would just be wrong to go for a gallop with this filly, an action similar in its potential for enjoyment to wading knee-deep in someone else's excrement.

The press release seems particularly proud of this opus, however, and waffles on, at great length, about their "prog-laced boogie stomp" and its entirely undetectable tendencies towards "art rock and avant-garde rock". Suffice to say, a PR man's job is to make a record sound more exciting than it probably is, but when reading the PR sheet is more fun than listening to the bloody record, you know you're in trouble.

Like shitting on someone else's carpet, being a fan of Drunk Horse is unlikely to win you many friends. If The Darkness' current hair metal uprising has made you decide you want to hear more of the same, look no further than 'Back In Black', 'Big Ones' or pretty much anything by Iron Maiden. But steer well clear of 'Adult Situations'. Drunk Horse? Shit Horse more like.