Cherubs- 'Uncovered By Heartbeat' (Cargo) Released 25/04/05

Cherubs, it appears, don’t have much time for this music criticism lark: “When I grow up…Im gonna be like this/ Get nine stars out of ten/ Who’s your hero then?/ I’ll never get bored until the day/ I notice nine stars out of ten/ Is only worth the paper its written on”, they protest.  That’s us told then.  Nevertheless, with the release of the Norwegian upstarts debut album, 'Uncovered by Heartbeat', criticise we shall.  Maybe its for the best if they overt their eyes…

These London-based fjord rockers eschew the usual Scandinavian indie vices of fey, obscure lyricism and soaring guitars for a trendy art-punk sound more suited to the urban surroundings their adopted home than their majestic birthplace.  Their command of this sound is less than convincing, however. Serving up their influences on a smorgasbord of mediocrity, they veer from the Hives-esque sneer of the aforementioned 'Nine Stars Out Of Ten', to the exercise in Interpol imitation that is 'The Kiss All Morning'.  A track like 'This Awful Morning' is unhealthily reminiscent of The Strokes (and, therefore, all those quaint old bands that sound a bit like The Strokes).

The problem is, as always, a lack of tunes. Generally the songwriting on the album is very poor.  'Uncovered by Heartbeat' opens with 'Telepathy', an interesting exercise in random guitar dissonance, but after a couple of decent tracks the quality of drops off sharper than an icy Scandinavian precipice. The vocals of Staale Krantz Bruland become less convincing as the album progresses, though this is the sound of a whole band still unsure of their true voice.  Seemingly caught between a persuasion for subtle, arty arrangements and anthemic scuzz rockers, they occasionally suggest a hint of promise.  Hopefully they will realise this, but it seems unlikely they will survive The Great Art Rock Cull that will surely sweep the nation in the next couple of years.  So don’t forget to pack in the tunes if there is a next time fellas. 

Oh sod it, they’re not listening anyway.