Johnossi - 'Johnossi' (V2) Released 04/06/07

Sweden’s most heralded music doesn’t seem to come in packages like this. Johnossi contain one drummer and one vocalist/guitarist. But this fact seems to pass you by when listening to their self-titled debut. Sure, The White Stripes pull the same rabbit out of the magician’s hat but that is gloriously noticeable. Yet the same thing doesn’t occur with this pair. And you may think that this will go in their favour, but it really doesn’t. With the White siblings, you can appreciate the songs for what they are, they sound unique but all the songs on this record sound like everything else around today, just with less substance. It sounds tedious to use the same two words in a sentence but Johnossi make bland, generic music, with no special touch to it.

All with reasonably catchy melodies, the talent that John Engelbert has won’t go unnoticed, but it’s unlikely that anybody will find this original, or spectacular. This record will be more than likable to some. Those that have no more than 10 cd’s in their record collection, those that don’t have a true passion for music, just people that want to have something on while doing the ironing. And even they may find several moments unpleasant. Despite most songs having a minute amount of charm to them, ‘Press Hold’ will make you cringe for the longevity of the Queen’s reign and as the album progresses, it just gets worse and worse. The band may claim that they’re coming out of their shell in ‘Santa Monica Bay’ but to a neutral, it may be the most embarrassing piece of music they have ever set their precious ears on.

Not one song stands apart from the cheesy underwhelming feeling that the album carries, dragging every moment into a nervous state, never willing to unleash itself. And the worst part of it all, it sounds like this band are trying and sure, they’re successful in writing a few pop songs that will appeal to many, but you won’t find anything quite as direct and average as this during the rest of 2007. To top it all off, closing track, ‘Summerbreeze’ sounds like its attempting to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible. The lyrics “Once a failure, always a retard” and “In my mind, you’re all retards in the end” steal Des’ree’s crown as the, shall we say, ‘retards’ of songwriting. What was a potentially pretty acoustic album closer ends up having less charm than any other. And as Sweden are still heralded for their Eurovision talents, this album sounds like it’s full of less-than-decent entries for the competition, which the two-piece gimmick won’t even save.