Wires On Fire - 'Wires On Fire' (Buddyhead) Released 19/02/07

Wow. Check us out. We can spit and snarl and play guitars and be rock n roll man. Erm. Nope. Sorry lads. You can’t.

Coming from a supposed hot bed of musical talent that has spawned such greats as Guns 'N Roses, The Eagles, The Doors and, um, Orson, Wires On Fire should have stardom paved out for them - right? Wrong. Starting off with moody chant-song 'Death To Jeff Lynn' it seems like the album’s going to be a ballsy angst ridden number a la Nirvana’s 'Bleach'. And yeah, there’s some serious testosterone filled hair-balls being bashed about but the most of the album seems to be more repetitive-racket than rave-about-ruckus.

'On A Train' is as tough as it is tepid. There’s those ever ready rough vocals battling it out with oh so simple guitar riffs but where’s the oomph? Music like this should make you want to grow long hair, mosh in your room and smash shit up. Not covers your ears and press stop. Shut up you Ozzy impersonator – you’re not him. Get back to your day job.

In self-confessed sex song 'Stallion' lead singer, no, screamer Evan proclaims that "you make me feel like a stalli-i-i-o-o-o-n-n-n". Don’t be fooled though, as there’s no bucking broncos round here. Only pissed up ponies that can’t play their instruments and string together a decent verse.

And oh – look. Lou Reed comes out to play in 'Dusty Bibles Lead To Dirty Lives'. Sure it’s a huskier version, and the poetic lyrics don’t even come close but he’s certainly there. Well, that’s what the band must have been thinking. Hmm. Go back to LA and rethink the agenda WOF. There’s no room for you here…