Accidents Never Happen - 'Oslo Beat' (Sheep) Released 12/02/07

Though it’s easy to scoff at the manner in which the press release accompanying ‘Oslo Beat’ makes repeated reference to the fact that Accidents Never Happen are big in Norway, it’s often forgotten that Refused, one of the defining hardcore bands of the previous decade, hailed from Sweden, a country more famous for flat-pack furniture than being the birthplace for progressive genre blueprints disguised as albums (1998’s ‘Shape Of Punk To Come’).

Accidents Never Happen’s debut is an understandably terse and fiery affair, given the band’s obvious influences and that it was apparently written as a response to the “Turbonegro-wannabe-scene”. Though the serious tone of the record may fit the band’s mission statement (and god knows one face-painted, arse-fireworks panto rock troupe is enough), it makes for disappointingly one-dimensional listening.

The best tracks are characterless and particularly by-the-numbers. Though there are far worse musical crimes than recalling the wiry, articulate rage of prime Fugazi (like Biffy Clyro for instance), ‘Oslo Beat’ might as well have been a covers album: it sounds right, but ultimately is about as satisfying as completing a two-piece puzzle. ‘The Outrageous Lie’, ‘How Not To **** Up A Coffee’ and ‘Saturday Night’ are cases in point, songs that aren’t offensive to the ear, that tick the right genre boxes but that ultimately make this hack realise that the hardest albums to review are the ones which simply generate apathy.

Without wanting to end on a truly negative note though, Accidents are a potentially good band. A second album that makes an effort at being adventurous would be a start. Until then ‘Oslo Beat’ proves that average music is average music, whatever the nationality. Unless you’re German of course, in which case David Hasselhoff will always be GOD.