Fantastic Four - Film Soundtrack (Sony) Released 04/07/05

The ‘album’ contains a few tracks inspired by the movie, so you can imagine the depth of emotion and quality that the movie will inevitably provoke and also the calibre of artist (Yes…Joss Stone and her faux funk pops her chubby face in!).

First up its those old dogs Velvet Revolver who have evidently devoured a mountain of Welsh Oggies in an attempt to replicate the ‘phonics; a far cry from the banshee style goading of the title 'Come in Come on', more like a congratulatory salute to each other for surviving the drug fuelled days, and why not? Its only a movie soundtrack for fucks sake!

Emo has a fair stab at murdering the ‘album’ with Taking Back Sunday who manage to keep one finger in their own assholes whilst toying with something more extravagant, its not At The Drive In, but it aint as bad as others on this album like Sum 41’s 'Noots' and Simple Plan’s 'Surrender', who’ve obviously donated their ugliest spawn to an already disfigured litter.

As expected those US power ballads are out in force with Omnisoul, Ryan Cabrera, Megan McCauley, and biggest mother of all is the Ben Moody featuring Anastacia (who’s thankfully restrained) track 'Everything Burns' which is the biggest puddle of piss you’ll encounter. No wonder the US market is dominated by Hip-hop when the opposition is so wet, and Fantastic Four the album is a case in point. Tracks by Chingy, Miri Ben-Ari, Loyd Banks and Miss Eighty 6’s 'Now You Know', which wiggles to a dirty little sample, are all a breath of fun amongst the wheezy little ballads.

If there’s a minor savour, its in the band of pretend fuck-ups T.F.F.; a one off collaboration between Brody Dalle (Distillers), Chris Cester (Jet), Dolf de Datsun, and Nick Zinner (Yeah Yeah Yeah’s) which thrives on Brody’s strained drawl and a toned Zinner riff. But it’s certainly not enough to carry an album of tosh.