Let The Fans In The Gig, Not The Freeloaders!

Riding the wave of their incredibly successful reunion, Take That have seem to have gone and broken all records to do with music... ever. This week they absolutely smashed first day sales by selling approximately 5 million* copies of their new album, 'The Circus'. On top of that, they recently sold somewhere in the region of 1.2 million* tickets in just over 5mins to their 2009 tour. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not annoyed about this, au contraire, I was in fact one of the 1.2 million people staring at their computer screen pressing refresh for about 40mins that morning. Anyway, I was actually just using this example as a lead in for the greater issues surrounding ticket purchases...

Who remembers when everyone hated rock/indie? Well I do, and now look back with great fondness upon those halcyon days. Whilst everyone else seemed to be splurging cash on any one of the infinitely pointless dance genres made up during the early 90’s I was wearing my indie badge on my chest with pride. Naturally this frequently resulted in being singled out as a “greabo” or something similar at school, but beatings were rare and it was worth it to be in the minority retaining all the interest in rock music.

My first memories of buying gig tickets involved wandering up to a venue with alcohol stashed upon my person and getting tickets the very night of the gig, most likely for under £10. Amazing! Worst case scenario, you might get your bag searched and lose the lager or spirits you were trying to sneak in, but the gig was always a cert. Ok, some larger gigs may have required some effort (my frantic efforts to get tickets to see Green Day spring to mind) but on the whole it was a breeze. One year I remember my friends and I decided to go to Reading festival in about July, so we rang up the ticket agency and voilà, tickets in the post for less than £80, no engaged tones, no crashed web-sites, no strategically planned approach required.

Now I understand that in lieu of the arse falling out of recorded music sales it is a necessity to ramp tickets price,  in fact, within reason, I’m all for it as it tends to mean more money for the artist rather than the labels. What is driving me mad is that now indie/rock/alternative music is uber-fashionable, trying to get hold of tickets for even small artists seems to be harder than Gary Glitter sneaking into Hamleys disguised as Santa.

Festivals are of course the worst hit, thanks to professional space-wasters such as Pixie, Peaches and countless other pretentiously named scenesters, purchasing tickets is essentially impossible. The photos of glamorous celebs not watching any bands and not sleeping in a tent, having not even paid for a ticket in the first place has lead to hundreds of celeb rag reading morons buying up every singly festival ticket. Of course, they think they will be hanging out with Agyness Denn and Kate Moss, but when reality kicks in and they realise there are tents and the possibility of rain they exit quicker than English and American guests at a Mumbai hotels – excuse the terribly tenuous topical humour today.

Another qualm is Glastonbury's ticket application set up. I know they are making huge efforts to try and combat touts, but the “magic” of the festival is somewhat tainted by the registration, deposit, pre-pre-sale, pre-sale, actual ticket purchase, ID required, retina scan and the blood and urine samples required just to go.

We need a solution and I think I have one. For gigs that are likely to attract a lot of touts and professional party-goers, the consumer should be asked to name at least two songs and one album by the artist. For festivals, simply name 5 bands playing you would like to see. This probably goes against the spirit of festivals like Glastonbury, with so many wankers saying they go for the “atmosphere”, not the music, but **** them. A lot of genuine fans of the music miss out just so some ageing toss-pot can sit round the stone circle eating mushrooms like a fat person would chips and complain about the fact that “it’s not as good as it used to be”. Times have changed, move on. Now all we have to do is make VIP area and guest list tickets a thing of the past and we are looking at the bright future of wanker-free festivals/gigs – well almost...

*figures made-up