Mark Ronson - 'Version' (Columbia) Released 16/04/07

Here’s a challenge: try listening to ‘Version’ all the way through without coming to the conclusion that all the trumpets in the world should be gathered in one place, melted down and converted into door knobs or some such non-musical brass entity. Anything to stop this bloke from getting his hands on one again.

DJ/producer/fashionista of the moment Mark Ronson first came up with the idea that indie might make good funk fodder with his interpretation of Radiohead’s ‘Just’, a refreshing and iconoclastic cover that showed what might have happened if the coffee in the Oxford gloomsters’ studio had been laced with Prozac. Additionally, being largely responsible for rescuing Amy Winehouse’s career with the same brassy treatment and giving a lite urban sheen to Lily Allen’s mumblings has seemingly convinced Mark that he’s stumbled across the winning formula.

And when he’s good, he’s very good. His instrumental take on Coldplay’s ‘God Put a Smile Upon Your Face’ sets a standard that he struggles to meet for the rest of the record, but Winehouse’s Motown-style version of The Zuton’s ‘Valerie’ doesn’t fall far short. And ‘Just’ sounds every bit as ballsy as when it first landed. But much of the rest is either pointless, flaccid or just plain ghastly.

Lily Allen mumbles her way through Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Oh My God’ like she’s merely doing a favour for her mate, while Robbie Williams’ nondescript effort on The Charlatans’ ‘The Only One I Know’ is as horrible as you’d imagine. Ronson’s version of ‘Pretty Green’ aims for the toy-town hip hop of 'Buffalo Girls', but merely succeeds in turning The Jam into Boney M. Paul Smith and Tom Meighan’s contributions to their own songs can’t protect their children from the rampant Ronson’s horn, while the cover of The Smiths is every bit as dreadful as its popularity is inexplicable.

However, the main flaw with ‘Versions’ is not that certain songs don’t work or that some of the collaborations are unimaginative. The real problem is that its just a shit concept. On ‘Version’, Ronson comes across like a musical Dom Joly, coming up with one idea and then trampling you to death with it. Jolie had a big mobile phone, Ronson has trumpets. Many, many trumpets.