by Dan Lucas Staff | Photos by Screenshot

Australians enjoy inherently weird sex to Star Wars Cantina music

Turns out they love getting it on to music by an 85-year-old man about blue squid aliens


Australians enjoy inherently weird sex to Star Wars Cantina music Photo: Screenshot

Disparaging the booty music might be a bootable offence but shock and mild revulsion are surely the only natural reactions to the news that the most popular music for Australians to have sex to is the Cantina music from Star Wars (which is the title we’re damn well sticking with).

John Williams’ instrumental piece – look, you know how it sounds – is played early on in the saga’s first movie, during a scene in which Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker enter a “wretched hive of scum and villainy” to meet Han, who callously murders Greedo to save his own skin. Meanwhile there are some squid things and another alien gets his arm violently lobbed off by the loveable Alec Guinness. And it turns out Australians like to picture this while trying to climax.

According to Gizmodo Australia, Spotify ranked songs that appear in playlists with the word “sex” in the title and the Cantina music came on top (snigger) “by a landslide”. This means that the Jurassic Park composer is the No1 sex artist in Australia ahead of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rihanna, Drake and even the Sex Pistols. And all the dollarydoos in the world can’t buy that title.

In our humble opinion, the Indiana Jones title theme would be a better bet if you must insist on doing it to the strains of an 85-year-old man.

Gigwise’s girlfriend could not be reached for comment.

Dan Lucas


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