Gigwise: Backstage At Transmission

Huddled in a cramped dressing room backstage at Riverside Studios in Hammersmith, Gigwise has just been accused of being drunk in charge of a Dictaphone by T4 presenters Lauren Laverne and Steve Jones. Merely high on life, it’s summoning up the courage to ask what price a Kenickie reunion. Nothing stronger than a wine gum has passed its lips all evening.

Sobriety is the key. There’s serious work to do tonight involving the distribution of Gigwise badges, for it is here to catch up with south London popstrels New Young Pony Club, watch The Streets whip through a few classy takes of 'When you Wasn't Famous', see Babyshambles lovingly dismantle the Transmission stage, and employ a roving spy to bring you its irreverent observations.

Such is the perils of live TV, there’s plenty of waiting around only for everything to then happen all at once. So at 6.30pm when Gigwise is at the bar, its spy in the camp spots Pete Doherty and Kate Moss hand in hand crossing the VIP area, only to bid a hasty retreat when met by oncoming photographers. Having been up and down more times than Lindsay Lohan’s knickers, it seems Kate and Potty Pete’s never ending tabloid saga continues.

Gigwise then spies a frankly, lost looking Jimmy Carr trying make small talk with some PR bods. Concerned its report is turning all Heat magazine, Gigwise goes in search of Babyshambles. The easiest task of the evening, it involves walking down the corridor and stopping outside the door with the billowing smoke and fruity aroma. But Doherty’s nowhere to be found. Confident he hasn’t sloped off to check bids for his heroin implant on eBay, Gigwise’s inside source finds Doherty throwing up in the women’s toilets and shouting at journalists to get out of the gents. It’s an easy enough mistake to make lad.

Babyshambles are on shortly after, having brought along a posse of rappers for 'Killamangiro'. Lauren Laverne earlier confided to Gigwise that Babyshambles were “utter chaos” during their warm up. Not to be outdone, Doherty wanders onstage with his newly acquired hip hop entourage, who begin free-styling about a guy named Billy Bilo, who moves like a fish on a lilo. Bilo is Doherty’s self-appointed nickname. Inexplicably, a Soviet Union flag is then draped over the crowd. Babyshambles still haven’t nailed the song by take three. It no longer matters. Doherty, complete with Russian military cap, launches himself into the audience, while the rest of the band pulls the lighting rig into the crowd. “Why am I being paid less than The Streets for tonight?” Doherty asks in his childlike way. It’s probably because your fee’s being spent on replacement electrical equipment mate.