Russell Brand And Jonathan Ross = The Austrian Basement Rapist

When did everyone become so flaming sensitive? I knew it wouldn’t be long before the Daily Mail grew restless with their lot and chose to slowly but surely take over the rest of nation’s media outlets, spitting out overreaction and disgust on every corner. You could boil down the story that shifted the on going economic crisis off the front pages – the one we’re constantly told will cripple the Western world for the next five years – to a couple of prats dicking about with a phone.

Silly and insensitive yes, but VULGAR, SICK and TWISTED no. You can’t tell me that if they’d pulled the same stunt with Gary Glitter or Jonathan King there would’ve been the same out pouring of condemnation and ferocity of witch hunt as we’ve had with little ol’ Manuel as the victim? Since then, Jeremy Clarkson has been told off for muttering under his breath about truckers knocking off prozzies and even Bill Oddie has got his hairy, hobbit-like wrist slapped for guffawing at a dead squirrel.

Months back, I thought that things were getting a bit silly when everyone was up in arms about Max Mosely’s sexy “Nazi” party. Its not as if he was plotting to wipe out David Baddiel, Lesley Joseph and Alan Sugar in a basement in Surrey was he? Just millionaire fancy dress gone wrong with a bit of how’s-your-fancy thrown in. The thing that irks me so is that I’m not convinced that we are as collectively upset by this nonsense as we pretend to be. It’s like we’re doing a ‘keeping up appearances’ job on our morals.

If we carry on feigning disgust at Sue Cook getting a speeding ticket when something really awful happens we don’t have another level of abhorrence to go to.